Alive again?

I don’t know.
Stupid again? Definitely.
I’m getting to know a new me, a me who doenst like to think too much, who doesn’t analyze as much as me, who can block out things, who will say “pl, I dot want to think right now”…..a me who is even more impulsive than me.

I don’t know how I feel about her.

I don't feel....

I haven’t felt like myself in months now. Approximately 6 months now.
Its strange because I have become more and more introspective, im not writing much anymore, al I write are conversations with myself that get too complicated to stay inside my head. But other than that every time I sit to analyze something or try to put it in a coherent sentence I end up getting more and more tangled in a web. Someday I might sit down and actually write everything down. It’s strange, I’ve made some decisions and THANK GOD I am sticking to them and acting sensibly (to the best of my ability!), but how do I feel about these decisions?
Hmmmmm….sensible, safe, good most of the time. One thing that’s not the same…not since things were last as they were …I don’t feel….Alive.