still around

I certainly have not disappeared Beknighted...
I come here almost everyday open upothis particular window and start typing, bythe time im done with 5 words, I feel sick and shut down everythng except the music.
something is awfully wrong, I dont feel like myself.

I dont know, forthe first time in my life hwo to get this outta me, I can generally write and vent about absolutely anything on the face of this earth that affects me.

Somehow I dont have and wont even try to find the words this time.



I cnat help but feel im being sucked back in... and I cnat help but be all positive and hopeful one minute and all sulky and skeptical about the futur, the next....

God is up there...He will figure something out which is best for us. So what if that turns out to be the thing that I have dreaded.

There is nothing that I or anyone else can say to make things better, I am learning to accept life as it is....and have left it on 'auto'

God, save me from crashing.